just finished my last final. it went alright. i'll graduate.
the sadness is starting to kick in. six days until the ceremony, four years almost behind me, and even though i've been waiting for it, it doesn't feel real. i know i give college park a lot of shit, but i'm going to miss this campus a lot.
this past semester, i struggled to live in the moment more than ever. i kept telling people i couldn't wait to graduate. i'm not sure if i really meant it.
i'm in a weird stage of life. there are basic things i keep on questioning. who my close friends actually are. whether they'll still be around a year from now. who i can trust. what's next. a lot of people in their early twenties probably feel something like this, which doesn't make it less strange to be inside of i think
in two months i'm moving to the bay area. new apartment, new coworkers, new everything. i don't know who my roommate will be, or what my new friend circle looks like, or who'll fly out to visit me in sf. so much new to experience. a fresh start. haven't had that in a while.
there's a lot of life left to live in 2026.
the past few months have felt stagnating. but I guess life can't always be a thriller. as much as i like being alone, i've been getting bored more often than i'm used to. maybe that's a skill issue. maybe i've been saying "i can't" too easily and "i can" not enough. this move will definitely force some of that whether i'm ready or not.
i haven't made the best use of these last few months, and that really irks me. i'm in an incredible position, i know that and i'm grateful for it, but something is still missing.
i'll let you know when i figure out what it is.